I Wandered Away, But Now I'm Back

My live has warbled and wobbled and woed and wowed me since I brought Adia home to Arkansas last August. Our biggest jubilation was in celebrating the final stage of Adia's adoption when we stood -- Adia, Mom, and I--in front of a judge to declare her part of the family in September. Her birth certificate took until March to arrive, but how's this for synchronicity. On July 17th we received permission to leave OH, on September 17th we went to court (by the way Adia slept through the entire proceedings), and her certificate arrived on March 17th.

Then we took a big hit of woe in October. My dad, Pat, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer just a week after he and Mom celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary and not long after Mom retired. Here the timing chilled me to the core-- my grandmother, Dad's mom, was diagnosed with the same disease that same week 20 plus years earlier and she was dead by December 5th (my maternal grandmother's birthday).

Dad has always amazed me with his inner strength and he beat the odds by surviving lung surgery, cancer surgery, losing 40+ pounds, and struggling through chemo to emerge with a desire to get out there and see old friends, relatives, and their old stomping grounds in the Midwest which is where they are right now-- up north at the Lake with Aunt Jackie and Uncle Ken. Dad even golfed 18 holes today. If he can stay cancer free for a year, he has a strong chance for surviving. My thanks to God and all those who prayed for my dad through this tough time. And we are so grateful to have him with us. I'm also so grateful that he can watch my little Adia grow up. This week she looked at his picture and shouted, "Opa!" So I believe he is officially "Opa" for now.

And my girl, she is a growing -- cutting 5, yep, that's 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 teeth right now and none too happy about that. Who can blame her. But she's also WALKING! More like running, then falling down and getting up and running again. It's so wonderful to see her world expanding one jostly step at a time. Yeah for Adia. We're off to a conference in Missouri tomorrow, so I better sign off for now, but I will try my best to be a better blogger. Peace!

Priming the Primed Mind

Have you ever heard a talk on being a "real" writer that left you with the feeling, "Well, that's not me. That's not how I write"? If so, then "The Primed Mind" may be just the book for you. It takes a subconscious approach to the art of writing by recognizing that all of the material we put on the page is drawn from our minds. In that case, it makes a lot of sense to train the mind to be more creative, productive, and knowledgeable about craft. Written in a conversational tone by a published novelist, "The Primed Mind" takes a craft approach to writing fiction that looks at the process of cultivating a writer's mind, learning the elements of fiction, critiquing, revising, and living the life of an author.

Back when Walt Whitman and Mark Twain published their seminal works, publishing in the US was done by subscription. Authors had to sell their books to individual subscribers before a publisher would print the book. With the current economy, we're almost to that stage again with independent publishers like Holy Cow Press (www.holycowpress.org) who published Natalie Goldberg's first collection of poetry. Unfortunately they

a) turned down Writing Down the Bones because they weren't sure if there was enough of a market for the book

b) have been forced, by the current economy, to halt their purchases of new titles.

This has caught me in a bind with my book "The Primed Mind." They're open to publishing the book if I subsidize the publication, but I can't afford it, so I'm going back to the subscription days and asking folks who are interest in purchasing the book to help me raise the funds to subsidize it's publication. Once the goal is met, the book would come out in about a year.

And who am I, you may be asking. Well, for starters, I'm a novelist. My first novel, The Year of the Sawdust Man, was favorably compared to To Kill A Mockingbird. I was stunned awed and grateful. I've published nine novels since then, in including the Scott O'Dell Award winning novel Worth. I'm also a visiting assistant professor in the low residency MFA programs at Hamline and Hollins Universities. For more information on me and my work, please visit my website at www.alafaye.com.

Testimonials for "The Primed Mind"
"Thank you for letting me read the chapter from what I hope will be a book. Our students could use this instruction. You write so fluently, your approach to the reader is so conversational, and your expression is so pleasant that I hardly notice as I read that my instruction is the object. I never heard the term "forms analysis" until you used it, so I'm glad to see here what you mean. Would you consider offering the unpublished book for sale to students?" --Jane Resh Thomas, author and writing coach. www.janereshthomas.com

To help with this project, visit:

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1257577731/priming-the-primed-mind-0

Home Again, Home Again, Home Again, Jiggedy, Jig

In our journey to establish our own family, Adia and I have been traveling from "home" to "home" every since our life together began. First, we stayed with Chuck and Dani at their wonderful bed and breakfast and they so kindly not only opened their home, but their hearts to us and we are so grateful. We pray that it is the beginning of a relationship that will span our lives.

From Toronto, OH, we moved on to our next home away from home in Shaker Heights, OH--our heartfelt thanks go out to Anne and John and Dash who offered us their home while they were away for the summer. They not only had a beautiful home that they shared with us, but even in their absence, I could see the signs of their love for their young son, Dash in the books, toys, and small wonders of his young life found in photographs and small tokens of his presence in each room in the house. I said a prayer that my love for Adia would be as evident in her own home when we finally arrived. While in Shaker Heights, we were stunned by their labyrinth like streets as we tried to navigate our way to various stores-- okay, so I was amazed while Adia enjoyed the movement of the car and generally fell asleep on our journeys. She LOVED Dash's old swing and would probably send out a big hand smacking thanking, if she could. Right now, she's in the finger sucking stage.

We send our heartfelt thanks to Anne, John, and Dash for opening their home to us and giving us one more home away from home along our journey to start our new family.

When we finally received word that we could leave Ohio-- a beautiful state that we will always love because it gave our family our start, but were glad to leave because wanted to get home to celebrate with our friends and family--we danced and sang and gave our thanks to God. Not to mention calling our family back home.

My brother Troy had been waiting anxiously online to find out if he was "officially" an uncle yet. Thrilled to be Uncle Troy, he had already started a search for his favorite collection of books as a child-- a Richard Scary's collection, I happened to love as well. He's found it now and can't wait to share it with his niece. Grandma later delivered the stuffed animals he'd bought for his niece. We're all looking forward to their first meeting--hopefully, this Christmas, if not sooner. Troy will be a great Uncle-- he has such a caring heart and he is always so good at relating to kids with love, respect, and his own brand of puckish charm.

Grandma and Grandpa were ecstatic. I found out later that when Grandma went to our house in Arkansas to collect Adia's things so she could meet us in Virginia where I was teaching for the summer, she ran across the road to tell our neighbor Sheila the fantastic news. As Sheila tells it, Grandma was so thrilled to welcome Adia into the family that she was practically dancing when she relayed the news. I can believe it too because she drove over 12 hours to meet us in VA. Their meeting was so magical. Grandma just kept smiling and saying, "She's even more beautiful in person." Adia slept through he whole thing. It was past her bedtime after all. This picture doesn't even touch the joy that filled the room when Grandma held Adia for the first time.

And Grandpa? Well, he had to wait until we were ready to head to our home-at-home in Arkansas, then he flew to Virginia and in true traveling style, he had his first real hello with young miss at the Cracker Barrel. He talked to her, he stuck his tongue out, he let her hold his finger, and he GLOWED when folks told him how beautiful she was and congratulated him on having such a beautiful granddaughter. The next day, he did something he never did for his own kids (in his defense, that wasn't a thing many men did when I was a baby), he fed her a bottle and in true Dad style, he called his wife and said, "Well, Rita, if you have any questions about feeding the baby you just let me know. I'm pretty much a master at it now." And to prove it, he feed her again before we hit the road and again once we reading Arkansas. That was a long, long drive. Adia was a trooper. Grandpa was AMAZING. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Grandpa.

But I have to add all that the Hollins Crew did to welcome us home-- Ruth cleaned and decorated the house (and bought Mom watermelon-- I LOVE watermelon), she took pictures of us and she helped plan one of the best baby showers ever. My best friend Hillary and her family bought flowers and prepared a reception for my first day back teaching and orchestrated that amazing shower in which every faculty member had a hand-- it was a fairytale shower with fairy godmothers and wishes abounding. Ruth presented us with a painting to match her room --STUNNING doesn't cover it. We received a book of wishes-- thoughtfully made by faculty and students and compiled by Candice, and they showered us with gifts and goodies of all kinds, including a lovely frog for kissing and filled with cards. My students and colleagues helped take care of Adia while I taught and a group of students each made a square of a afghan in Hollins colors. We are so richly blessed with friends who richly blessed us while we were at Hollins. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. One and All.

Back in Arkansas, Grandma was working to have the house all clean and ready for her little girl and she could hold her and love her enough once we arrived. But most importantly, we ARRIVED at home. And we definitely did a jig. Or I did, and Adia came along for the ride. As we settle into our home, we're reading books, taking warm baths, singing, and having time each morning to just lounge around and coo and talk and smile and rub noses. We are so grateful to everyone who made this journey home possible. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts!

Up next?

A baby shower with our friends and family here in Arkansas. And then THE BIG DAY.

September 17th, 2009 we go before a judge to legally become mother and daughter. We can't wait. Thank you for sharing our journey with us.

Alexandria and Adia

The Phone Call that Went Bruumpt In the Night

At around 11:30 on July 2nd, the phone rang. Trained well by my mother who suspects the worst of a phone call after 11:00, I answered with hint of panic. Seems I was right to be jangled, but not out of fear. The caller was Nancy from the adoption agency I'd just started working with and she had a posible match. Match seems to be a pretty logical word for "matching" a birth mom with an adoptive mom, but it doesn't fit at all in a chess match, online dating match, doesn't come close to the blessings impending parenthood can hold kind of way, does it?

Considering the time of night, I knew she wasn't calling to tell me about a baby who would be born weeks from that night. In fact, the baby she was referring to was being born that night, not more than 30 minutes before the call was made, in fact. She wanted to know if I was interested in adopting a new born from Southern OH.

Interested? Only in a fullfillment of a lifelong dream kind of way. Sure.

You know what they say, we all have a dream of who we would become when we grew up. Before I ever thought I'd be an author (a blessing I am eternally grateful for, by the way), I thought I would become a wife and a mother. Well, the wife things is still a work in progress. In fact, if it was a manuscript, you could say I'm still on the first draft. Not only am I not a fan of reading romance novels (Sorry Twilight fans), I'm apprently even worse at writing one into my own life. So, a few years ago, I decided to adopt. How did that go? You might ask. I'd tell you, let me save that for another blog, because this one is for celebrating a wonderful journey.

I have become the blessed recipient of what they call a 'stork drop adoption'! That means that the no one was ready for the arrival of the little miracle -- not the birth mom (she thought she was due in August), not the adoption agency (they had just started working with the birth mom), and certainly not the adoptive mother (I had NO CLUE it was even an option), so this little bundle of joy appeared to have been dropped off by a stork.

At the time I recieved the call, I was teaching two classes in the Hollins University Graduate Program in Children's Literature http://www.hollins.edu/grad/childlit/childlit.htm and living in a little house in the Allegheny mountains with my two dogs Nigel and Maida (Nigel has stripes, Maida has dots over eyes) and all of the baby things I owned were snuggled down safely in my empty house in Arkansas. But you know what they say, "You can't ask God to reschedule a miracle." Or if you do, you're a darn fool.

So thanks to the emense generosity of my friends -- Amanda Cockrell, the program director who told me, "Go, just go! We'll sort your classes out." Ruth Sanderson, the saint who agreed to take care of my dogs at my little remote house in the mountains-- incidentally she wrote and illustrated some great books on saints. Check them out at http://www.ruthsanderson.com/ My best friend Hillary Homzie who has been giving me daily support and guest lecturing in my classes www.hillaryhomzie.com , Lisa Rowe Fraustino,a great friend who is guest lecturing too lisarowe.wikispaces.com/ And my fabulous friendYvonne Furniss who has been keeping in touch via every means possible -- phone, e-mail, facebook to be sure baby and I are A-okay. http://www.eubank-furniss.com/home All of my friends and family who have stayed in touch via Facebook to support me through this have been invalueable blessings. Thank you, one and all. I'm also so grateful to my flexible, forgiving, and dedicated students at Hollins who have hung in there as I took their classes online when I went on the road for Operation Stork Drop, Code Name: Adia.

Speaking of that baby, did I say that I wiped together a nursery with some starry curtains, the painted lettters in her name (yep, it's a girl), went new mommy nuts buying baby things, then booked it to OH? Well, actually, I did all of those things, then vroom, vroomed my little vibe up into the mountains of West Virginia to reach the best three corner state meet, I've ever been to-- OH, PA and WV come together in a friendly, beautiful mountainous region (more like large green, tree covered hills really).

Enough about the trees already, let's get to that kid! That kid is Adia Margot LaFaye. She was born at 7 lbs and 8oz at 11:10 on July 2nd and I reached her when she was a few ounces heavier and still in the nursery in the early afternoon on my mother's birthday July 5th. And she was amazing! She is amazing. Here she is

And to show you, I was pretty happy to see here, here I am with my little miracle girl.

From the hospital, we needed to find a homey place to stay until we received clearance to leave the state of Ohio. God sent us to Hilltop Haven B& B which is run by Chuck and Dani Swearingen who two baby loving, mommy supportive inn keepers who like me believe every kindness blooms when it is passed on. If you're ever in Southeastern OH, please stop by for a spot of tea, some great company, and a comfy room. http://www.hiltophavenbnb.com/

Now it's off to parts unknown-- will OH & AR give us clearance to go home? Will it come soon-- oh pretty please with dreams of family, friends, and doggies on top. Will the birth parents remain committed to their adoption plan? They have until Tuesday to revoke the adoption. Dear Lord, may it be your will that this is the start of forever family-- Little Miss Adia and I. This morning we're off to stay at a friend's house in Cleaveland. so bye for now. Say a prayer for us. God Bless.

A. LaFaye Goes Bloggy

I'm finally joining the blogging generation.

For anyone who believed it'd never happen-- don't worry, they're still reporting a record heat wave-- you know where and with global warming it's probably only going to get worse.

For those of you who have been waiting for me to get with it . . . ARE YOU SERIOUS?! I've never been "with it"-- so why start now?

Still, kids often ask me if I have a blog. When I reply that I don't, they're bummed, so I've decided to take the plunge, go bloggy, and start a blog.

Considering I'm someone who has an apparent allergy to routine, frequently drops off the radar on Facebook, and occassionally forgets to eat because I'm too busy doing other things, it'll probably come as no surprise that I won't blog often. Feel free to check in on my wordy wanderings every now and again.

If there's a topic you'd like me to blog about-- just ask, I'll see what I can do.

For this first blog, I'll keep it short. I'll keep it simple. And I'll hope that there is actually someone out there who cares and wants to read my blog. We'll see.

In the meant time:

If you've made a new discovery

-- a fact you never knew before--like the fact that the halo around the heads of the holy --(You've probably seen them in paintings) is called a "nimbus."

--book you really love--I am the Messenger by Zusak is a great look at the "pay it forward" concept and what it means to really be alive in this world. Check it out.

--a technique of writing, you've learned recently. Zusak does "code switching" on a literary/word level-- making words and things and people function in ways that's out of the ordinary-- it's groovy.

Please share!

Bye for now. Happy reading, writing, wandering your way through the world!